Toddlers love tearing up books. How do you discourage such behavior?
I’ve been reading story books to my child ever since she was a tiny little 4 month old.
She’d be cozily tucked away in my arms as I’d show her the picture books and her eyes would light up with delight.
As soon as she hit the 1 year mark though, our serene reading time began to change. She started tugging the book out of my hand, grabbing the pages and attempting to rip the pages out.
Many paper books were torn, board books were chewed on and reading with her became more of a wrestling match rather than the peaceful cuddling time it used to be.
I tried many strategies to deal with this; some things worked and others didn’t. Here are some things I learned which will (hopefully) help you out too!
But before jumping into how to stop kids from ripping up story books, it’s important to first understand WHY toddlers love tearing up books in the first place.
Why do toddlers love tearing up books?
Reason # 1 – The sensory pleasure
Toddlers get really excited when they find out that books tears. It’s a magical discovery to them and it must be explored.
It’s extremely satisfying for them to tug at the paper and hear the ripping sound while the paper peels away.
In short: kids are weird. They find pleasure in the strangest of activities.
Reason # 2 – Growing interest in books
The fact that your toddler is ripping up books is actually a sign of her interest in them. She wants to engage with the book and see what happens when she touches it.
In her mind, if tugging on her stuffed bunny’s ears qualifies as love then tugging at the book’s pages should also count as an expression of love.
Right?
Reason # 3 – Lack of skills
As adults we don’t think about the ‘process’ required to appropriately read a book. You need to be able to hold the book in your hand and gently turn the pages with your fingers.
It’s sounds simple, but for a toddler it requires a certain amount of dexterity.
And frankly, your 15 month old hasn’t perfected those skills just as yet.
It’s something that you’ll need to keep demonstrating to her and a skill that she will slowly learn over time.
Toddlers love tearing up books – how to stop them?
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1. Demonstrate appropriate behavior
Think of it from your toddlers eyes: she’s never ‘interacted’ with books before. So it’s very important for you to demonstrate to her from an early age how to handle books.
First, make sure to keep all paper books away from her reach. Then slowly, one at a time, introduce her to each book.
Sit her down on your lap and using a tone of reverence and awe, teach her how to interact with a book.
“This is a book. We have to be really careful when we touch it otherwise it might tear”.
Let your child hold the book in her lap and then using your thumb and forefinger, gently turn the pages. If she tries to tug at the page, turn her attention to the drawings while reminding her how fragile the book is.
“If we pull hard at the page then it’ll tear. The book will be so sad then.”
If she continues tugging then take the book away and explain that we can only read the book when we handle it gently.
You’ll need to repeat this process with them several times before they finally internalize the message.
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With my kids I’d act as if the book had a life of its own. And that a tear on a book was similar to a cut on our skin. Once my kids felt like the book might get hurt, they were extra careful about being gentle with it.
This might seem a bit dramatic but it’s critical to teach our kids from a young age that books must be respected.
This includes teaching them that books should never be thrown, stepped on, colored on, spit on or chewed on.
2. Never leave child alone with books
Kids will always give in to temptations.
If a book is just lying around on the floor and you are nowhere in sight to supervise, they are very likely to pick it up and rip it to shreds.
3. Give something to hold
I’ve found that when I’m reading to my kids, it’s helpful for them to have something in their hands. A doll, some play dough, something that keeps those tiny hands preoccupied.
They’re much less likely to try to tear the pages when their hands are full.
4. Use board books/ cloth books
Tearing up books is a phase that pretty much all toddlers go through.
It makes life so much simpler if you have board books or even cloth books, especially if your child is younger than 3.
That way you don’t need to constantly keep stressing that you’ve left a book lying around which your toddler can now demolish.
Plus before you know it, your kids will be out of the tearing up phase and you can take out all the nice paper books you’ve been hiding away.
5. Fulfil desire to tear
I got an old cardboard box and tossed in some old magazines, junk mail and newspapers. Then I let my toddler happily tear away.
Kids really enjoy the sensation that comes with ripping things up. It helps get it out of their system and they’re less likely to turn to books to practice their tearing up skills.
But you need to make sure to let them know that it’s only these particular paper pieces they are allowed to tear up.
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