Positive Parenting Solutions – parenting without nagging, yelling or time outs.
Don’t we all wish parenting came with a manual? A guide that teaches us how to deal with some of the most common challenges we face as parents almost on a daily basis. From tantrums, morning mania, mealtime battles and bedtime blues all the way to power struggles, chore wars and backtalk.
For most of us, everyday parenting can get awfully overwhelming.
How do I parent from a place of calm when my kids are driving me up the wall?
OR
How do I stop yelling and nagging at my kids when they just don’t listen?
OR
My kids fight and argue all the time. How can I use positive parenting strategies to reduce sibling rivalry.
I was struggling with every one of those issues. I felt that every time I asked my kids to do anything – finish their food, get into bed, stop fighting or get ready for school – we’d get sucked into a huge power struggle.
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I felt exhausted, defeated and most of all guilty for being such a crappy parent.
What most of us don’t realize is that there is a better way. A way to parent from a place of calm without resorting to punishments, time outs, constant nagging or yelling.
I just finished taking the Positive Parenting Solutions Program and I’m so excited to share my learnings with you in this blog post.
The program was amazing and far exceeded my expectations from it. Not only has it transformed my parenting style but also given me insights into why my kids behave the way they do and how my own personality plays a role in how they behave.
Most importantly, it’s given me incredible tools that I can use daily to deal with every possible parenting struggle.
The course was founded by Amy McCready over 10 years ago. She’s a mom of two, best selling author, parenting coach and a frequent guest speaker on the Today Show. She’s also helped transform the lives of over 75,000 families.
I absolutely love the way she teaches the course. As a recovering yelling mom herself, she can relate to the struggles of parents and teaches with warmth and empathy.
Each concept is built upon a previous concept in a logical way and sequential way.
You finish the program with a very crystal clear idea of what you should and shouldn’t be doing as a parent and what tactics actually work and help to meet your child’s needs.
The course material is not theoretical fluff; its heavily focused on practically implementing the tools in your daily life. So as you go through the course and start implementing each tactic, you literally start to see things improving drastically every day.
Here are some key takeaways from the Positive Parenting Solutions course that I’d like to share with you today.
Why Kids Behave the Way They Do
The Positive Parenting Solutions Program is based on the work of famous psychotherapist Alfred Adler. Adlerian psychology believes that all behavior is motivated by a goal. So when children behave a certain way, that behavior is goal oriented.
Once basic needs at met, the two primary goals that all children crave are 1) attention and 2) power.
Kids try to get these needs fulfilled in any way they can. If they aren’t given attention and power in positive ways, they find negative ways to achieve these two goals.
So one of the best ways to cut down and drastically reduce the power struggles and arguments in the house is to fulfil these needs in positive ways.
How We Contribute Towards our Child’s Behavior
As parents we are so focused on how our kids are misbehaving or not listening to us that we don’t realize that our OWN personality plays a huge role in how things play out.
The Positive Parenting Solutions Program has a personality test that parents can take to help asses what kind of a personality they have. It then dissects how certain character traits deepen the battles that we face with our kids on a daily basis.
Then it gives practical tips on how making small changes to our personality can play a big role in improving our parenting style.
Common Parenting Strategies That Do NOT Work
One of my biggest takeaways from this course was learning about the parenting tactics that are commonly used but do more harm than good.
This section was truly an eye opener for me because I was using so many of those tools daily!
Here are the parenting tactics that do NOT work and actually negatively impact your child:
1. Rewards
2. Time outs
3. Punishments
4. Using consequences that are followed by blame or shame
5.Negative labels
6. Positive labels
I kept thinking to myself: if I hadn’t learnt this right now, I would’ve spent my entire life using these wrong tools to parent.
The course dives deep into why these tactics don’t work, the long term harm that they cause and what tactics to use as substitutes.
Positive Parenting Discipline Tools
Today I’d like to share with you 2 positive parenting tools that I learnt from the Positive Parenting Solutions course.
After implementing these tactics, I began to see an almost immediate improvement in my interaction with my kids.
1) Let the Routine Be the Boss
This tactic seriously helps in stopping you from being this nagging parent whose constantly telling her kids what they should be doing. Because as the name suggests, the routine is the boss and not you.
This lifts the burden off you from ensuring that your kids do the stuff they gotta do. It also gives kids a big dose of power since now they are the ones in control.
Once I learnt about this tool, I sat down with my 6 year old and we discussed all the stuff she has to do in the mornings before school, after school and at night before bedtime. Then we made 3 trackers, put them in a clear file and stuck them on the fridge (putting them in a clear file ensured that the tracker could be written on and erased again and again).
We repeated the same process for my 3 year old and used pictures instead of words to list her to-dos.
Result of implementing this tactic: I no longer need to be nagging, reminding or yelling at my kids to do things. No exaggeration. My girls just walk up to the fridge, check their tasks and then give themselves a checkmark when they’ve finished each task. Giving yourself a checkmark for a task done has shown to be very psychologically satisfying for adults and kids alike.
I encourage you to try this technique with your kids today and see for yourself what a transformative parenting tool it is!
2) Using Do instead of Don’t
Stop and ask yourself: how many times in the day does your sentence begin with the word ‘dont’ or ‘no’ ?
Research shows that constantly using negative language like “no” and “don’t” to our kids makes them desensitized to the word. It also leads to power struggles and confusion on what they CAN do.
But let’s get real. There are so many times in the day when we need to tell our kids to stop doing something.
So how do we say no without actually saying no?
A super effective positive parenting strategy is to phrase the sentence in the affirmative. So instead of telling them what they can’t do, we can tell them what they CAN do.
Here are some examples:
1) Stop hitting your sister vs Please keep your hands to yourself
2) Don’t throw food on the floor vs Can you make sure the food stays on your plate
3) Stop whining vs Can you use your words
See the difference? Instead of making it into a power struggle by using negative language, we’re giving our kids clear expectations on what behavior we’d like to see from them.
Changing the way we talk is hard. Most of us have been using negative language with our kids for years on end. But if we consciously try to change the way we talk we’ll notice such a huge improvement in our relationship with our kids.
Positive Parenting Solutions – What You’ll Learn
Many of us struggle with parenting on a daily basis. But few parents actually take action and invest money and time into trying to improve themselves as parents.
Think about it: for any job that you do, no matter how junior a position it is, you’re always required to receive some sort of training.
Then what makes us believe that we don’t need training in raising another human being – perhaps the most important job in the world?
After going through the entire course material of Positive Parenting Solutions and putting the 30 + tools into action, I can say in all honesty that it’s an investment of a lifetime.
The things you’ll learn from the course will seriously help you put an end to the screaming, nagging, power struggles and every other parenting struggle you may be facing.
Ready to become the best version of yourself for your kids?
This is a breakdown of what you’ll learn in this course:
Step 1: Understanding the Science of Misbehave
In this session you’ll learn about:
Why kids actually misbehave
The role of birth order between siblings
How a parent’s personality plays a role in a child’s behavior and a parent personality assessment tool
Mind Body Soul Time
Step 2: Empowering Your Kids
In this session you’ll learn about:
7 ways parents (unintentionally) discourage their child
Common parenting strategies used by well intentioned parents and why they dont work
Tips and tricks on how to use a Calm Voice
Praise vs Encouragment
Tools to empower your kids
Step 3: Resetting the Power Struggles
In this session you’ll learn about:
Power paradigms
Creating a decision rich environment
How to create when-then routines
Controlling the environemnt
The 5 Rs of consequences
Step 4: Decode Your Child’s Mistaken Goals
In this session you’ll learn about:
Why do kids make you jump hoops and how to handle it
Child’s mistaken goals and how to deal with them
Inviting Cooperation
Asked and Answered
Step 5: Handling Sibling Rivalry and Fighting
In this session you’ll learn about:
How parents fuel sibling rivalry
How labels create an environment of competition between siblings
4 Step Solution to Sibling Rivalry
Conflict resolution for Littles
Step 6: Having More Fun As a Family
In this session you’ll learn about:
What are family meetings
Family meeting rules
Step 7: Make the Changes Last
Signs of backsliding
Expert tips on how to avoid backsliding
If you think that’s a LOT for one course, then hold tight. That’s just a basic course overview. There are also additional modules for more specific areas you may be struggling with in your parenting journey.
Survival Guides
- Taming Morning Mania
- Managing Mealtime Madness
- Curing the Bedtime Blues
- No More Chore Wars
- MBST: Secret Weapon for Better Behavior
Battle Tested Blueprints
The course is designed to help you regardless of if your child is 2 years old or 16. As you can see from the topics below, the course covers a wide range of common parenting challenges faced by parents of toddlers or teens.
The Littles
- Potty Training 101
- Bedwetting and Potty Accidents
- Stopping Sibling Bullying
Tweens & Teens:
- Terrific Teen Parenting Skills
- Technology Survival Plan
- Sex Talksā¦Simplified
- Responsible Social Media
- 14 Talks by Age 14
- The Addiction Innoculation
Kids with Differences:
- ADHD 101
- Homework Skills for ADHD/EFD Kids
- Help for Anxious Kids
- The Explosive Child
Homework & School
- Help for Homework Hassles
- The 3 Rās of Back To School Success
- Keeping Kids Safe from Bullying
- Help for Struggling Parents
Ending Entitlement
- Curing the Entitlement Epidemic
- ABCs of Allowance
- Say NO to Rewards & Praise
- Business Systems for the Family
Adult Relationships
- Stronger Than Ever Parenting Partners
- Divorce & Parenting Apart
- Getting Your Partner on the Same Page
Still not convinced that this is the right parenting course for you? Try out Amy McCready’s FREE 1 hour class. You’ll learn invaluable parenting tips you can start implementing from today.
Are you a toddler parent? Here are some other posts you may enjoy:
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12 Easy Toddler Activities to Keep your Toddler Out of Trouble | No Prep Indoor Activities
6 Fascinating Reasons Why Toddlers Draw on Walls (And How You Can Stop Them)
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