My toddler wont let me tie up her hair. What can I do?
If you’re a parent to a toddler girl then you’re probably all too familiar with their dislike for the hair brush.
I have two girls and the number one cause of yelps and screechs in our home are hairbrushing battles (followed closely by bath time tantrums and not wanting to wear mittens in winter).
My girls hate getting their hair brushed and having their hair tied on some days is literally an all out battle.
So why does your toddler hate the hair brush so much and what can you do about it?
Toddler won’t let me tie up her hair – 7 hacks you should try
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1. Change hairbrushing technique
When brushing your toddler’s hair you have to remember that their scalp is more sensitive than ours. It’s super important to brush in a way that it doesn’t hurt them/cause a tugging sensation. Ideas include:
- Using a hairbrush with soft rounded bristles that don’t dig into the scalp
- Using a gentle hand with soft strokes when brushing
- Holding the ends of the hair and brushing out any tangles from them before brushing at the roots. This prevents the tugging sensation that bothers kids and makes them screech
- Regularly oiling your child’s hair with coconut oil to keep them tangle free, super soft and shiny (I literally swearrrr by coconut oil when it comes to hair and skin and this organic, cold-pressed coconut oil is liquid gold!)
- Using a detangling brush that smoothly glides through the hair without hurting your child’s scalp (read the raving reviews from parents about this brush HERE)
2. Try finger brushing hair
This is a hack I use when I’m running late and I need to quickly get out of the house with my kids looking (at least halfway) presentable.
If your toddler is fussy about hair brushing, then finger brushing is a great alternative.
Finger brushing is brilliant because toddlers prefer your soft fingers running through their hair than a hairbrush. So you manage to gently brush back the hair and get the hair tied up with little to no resistance.
You can read some helpful tips in my post on handling hair brushing battles.
3. Distraction
When it comes to toddlers, distraction is your best friend. It’s your secret weapon that will work with handling (almost) anything toddler related.
Distraction usually works. So it’s a great option for managing your child’s behaviour in many situations.
raising children
When my little one started sprouting some hair I began trying to tie it up. But she’d always squirm away or else yank out the clips/pony tails the second it was in her hair.
So I’d put her in the high chair and give her a snack, a toy or a Busy Book.
A Busy Book (as the name suggests) is designed to keep your toddler busy. Not just that, but it contains activities that also teach your toddler fundamental skills (like matching, sorting, counting, tracing, phonics activities etc) that lay the foundation for future learning.
The Sweet n Sour Busy Book is an insanely cute Toddler Busy Book (if we do say so ourselves!). Featuring bright and unique illustrations, each page has been crafted to perfection.
Designed to keep toddlers busy, engaged, learning and out of trouble, this little printable bundle is a life saver for toddler parents. Take it along during travel, in the car, at the restaurant or anywhere you’d prefer to replace screen time with something that actually benefits your child.
Check out the Sweet n Sour Busy Book (we promise you won’t be disappointed!).
Using a toy, snack or Busy Book always works.If my toddler is busy, she doesn’t even notice that I’m brushing her hair.
If you’re tired of dealing with hair brushing battles, then this can be a convenient solution particularly on busy days.
RELATED POSTS:
Handling a Toddler Who Hates Getting Nails Cut
9 Hilariously Easy Ways to Teach a Toddler to Brush Teeth Without Tantrums
4. Show her the look in the mirror
Sometimes letting kids know what you’re doing and showing them the final result can make them more cooperative.
So while brushing her hair, talk through what you’re doing. And then show her how she looks in the mirror.
Sprinkle in a few positive comments like “Oh how nice you look with your hair away from your face” or ” What a pretty bow!” or “You look just like (insert your child’s favorite aunt or cartoon character”)
You can check out some cute toddler hairstyle ideas in this post.
5. Make hairbrushing fun
Toddlers are ALWAYS going to be less cranky and resistive to activities when they’re having fun!
“The great thing about toddlers is they’re always game for playing pretend. All it takes to play “hairdresser” in your bathroom is a chair, a hairbrush and some acting chops on your part.” whattoexpect.com
Here are some creative ways to make hairbrushing more appealing to your toddler:
1. Get them cute hairbrushing accessories. This could be getting them a cute little mirror (this mirror is super cool because it also doubles as a tool for emotional learning!) or an adorable unicorn detangling brush any toddler girl would adore (or if your girl is an Elsa fan then she’d probably like this one)
2. Take turns brushing each other’s hair (and on days you have time, make it into a game…like pretending you’re both at the salon and you’re her stylist for the day)
3. Brushing the dolls hair together. Many moms use this hack and it seems to really work. Try brushing your toddler’s dolls hair with her. Take turns with her in using a doll brush to brush the dolls hair and comment on how nice her hair looks once it’s been brushed and tied up.
The next time you’re brushing your toddler’s hair you can even ask her to imitate you and make her doll’s hair. It keeps kids busy and also makes them feel grown up.
6. Give her choices
Toddlers are all about choices. When you let them choose from different options, it makes them feel happy to know that they have some power and control over the situation.
Also, kids can be finicky about different things. Some girls hate clips in the hair but are fine with pony tails. Other times it’s headbands that bug them but they’re fine with hair elastics.
So let your toddler choose between different hair accessories and styles. Be sure to only give them two options at a time otherwise you’ll just confuse them. So try asking ‘should we wear a headband today or clips?’ or ‘would you like a pony at the back or pigtails?’
Cute Toddler Hair Accessories:
- Girl’s Hair Clips Cute Hair Bows
- Unicorn Hair Clips Girls Hair Accessories Glitter Braided
- Hair Ties with Bows for Toddler
You could also give her the choice of brushing her own hair if she likes. Again, this would make her feel more grown up and more interested in the idea of hair brushing (you could tell her your turn will come last – so you can brush out the tangles and have that hairstyle in place).
7. Cut hair short
If all else fails, you can always cut your toddler’s hair short! Choose a style that looks nice even when it’s not tied up.
Hating hair brushes and getting hair tied up is a temporary phase. By the time her hair grows out she’ll be a whole lot more cooperatative and maybe even enthusiastic about having her hair done.
In the meantime, NOTHING trumps your sanity.
Parent’s Favorite Amazon Products for Toddler Hair Care:
Baby Hair Ties with Bows for Toddler
Curl Spray LeaveIn Conditioner For Kids Hair Detangles and Restores Curls
Crave Naturals Glide Thru Detangling Hair Brush for Adults & Kids Hair
FAQs
Why won’t my toddler let me brush her hair?
The biggest reason your toddler hates getting hair brushed is because she doesn’t like the sensation of a hairbrush scraping her scalp. She also dislikes the tugging sensation when her hair is being tied up or braided.
How do I get my toddler to let me do her hair?
Try changing your hairbrushing technique. Use a gentle hand and a hair brush with soft round bristles. You can even use finger brushing to help prevent the tugging sensation. Using distraction and giving a toddler choices are also popular parenting strategies for getting a hairstyle up.
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Don’t forget to check out our most popular printable: the Sweet n Sour Busy Book
Read these posts next:
5 Insanely Creative Ways To Teach a Toddler to Clean Up | Cleaning With Kids
15 Best Bath Toys For Toddlers That Are Educational and Fun
9 Hilariously Easy Ways to Teach a Toddler to Brush Teeth Without Tantrums
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