Toddler wont hold hands – what should I do?
A common complaint of many parents is that their toddler won’t hold hands in public places.
Its ironic.
Because on the one hand your toddler is stuck to you like glue all day long and refuses to let you have a few seconds of alone time. It doesn’t matter if you’re showering, peeing, napping or doing yoga. Your toddler feels the need to constantly be near you, touching your face or clinging to your legs.
But the second you step outdoors and want them to hold your hand while you cross the street? That’s when all their desire to be independent kicks in.
Just another one of the many joys of parenting a toddler.
And while it’s ironic it’s also dangerous and can be a cause of much frustration, annoyance and worry for many parents.
Lets explore some effective strategies that you can use.
Toddler Won’t Hold Hands – 6 Clever Strategies You Should Try
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1. Practice hand holding
Just like anything else, practice makes perfect. Toddlers need to practice a skill again and again before they can master it. The more your child practices holding hands, the more it will become second nature for him to do it without any reminders or pleading.
Parents should give toddlers many chances to practice their developing skills while supervising so they stay safe as they learn.
Kids health
Yelling at your toddler while he’s running around in the parking lot won’t teach him about holding hands. And neither will chasing him while he’s racing all over the mall.
Try starting off by practicing hand holding in the home. This is a simple strategy and will allow kids to practice this skill in a safe place and understand what is expected of them.
Then, move on to practicing outdoors in a safe, quiet place. Take your little one for a walk frequently and tell him that as long as he holds your hand you can go for walks every day.
2. Let toddler hold finger instead of hand
Some parents say that getting their child to hold their finger instead of the hand is a whole lot easier.
Kids feel less constrained and find it more comfortable. Their hand doesnt need to get all sweaty from holding your hand for so long. Plus if they try to break loose their grip you can quickly hold on to their wrist in emergencies.
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3. Enforce consequences when toddler won’t hold hands
When you’re at a place where it’s absolutely critical they hold your hand like when you’re crossing the street or at a busy mall, then it’s important to enforce consequences.
Toddlers are smart enough to understand that a certain action can result in a certain consequence.
If there are immediate and real consequences for bad behavior, your toddler — even at this young age — will quickly start to realize that naughtiness does not pay off.
what to expect
So you can explain that either they hold your hand or else they will get carried or strapped in the stroller (or buckled into the grocery cart if you’re shopping).
Most toddlers hate being strapped in. So once they realize that not holding hands results in that, they’ll start being a lot more cooperative about hand holding.
Keep in mind though, the first couple of times you try enforcing consequences your child will fight back with tantrums. There will be screaming, flailing of hands and a whole lot of kicking.
It’s hard (and can get super embarrassing) but it’s important to remind yourself that you’re being a responsible parent and have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.
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4. Explain which places are non negotiable for hand holding
Toddlers love to roam around freely and get a chance to explore. So give them plenty of opportunities to wander about unhindered.
Explain to them in simple language which places are non negotiable when it comes to holding hands. Like on the road or in parking lots. Then let them know which places they can roam around without restrictions like in the park.
5. Use a safety harness
If your child hates holding hands and wants to exert his independence then a safety harness is a great option.
It allows kids to explore unhindered while giving you the confidence of knowing they are safely within reach.
It goes by different names – wrist leash, safety harness, toddler safety leash. It’s essentially a harness around your child with a tether that allows you to keep your child close to you.
Some parents prefer getting the backpack harness which is basically a cuter and more multipurpose version of the above. It helps your kid explore with confidence, allows you to keep them away from danger and comes as a backpack where you can carry around their story books, snacks or water bottle.
Are toddler leashes bad?
The controversy around toddler leashes is that some people feel that you are treating your child like an animal.
Parents with little ones however know that toddlers are impulsive little creatures with very little understanding of dangers like getting run over by a car or getting lost in a crowded place.
So a harness, particularly in situations where you are near the raod or in a crowded place, can really be life saving. Plus as an added advantage, it can aid in helping your child maintain proper social distancing.
As pointed out by Fatherly “Yes, leashes for kids are absurd in theory. But in practice, they let you keep your children close to you, both in crowded situations, and during times that call for social distancing. The alternative is keeping them locked indoors, and if that’s your solution, may the force be with you”
Look, whether it’s a leash, wristband, or cute backpack thing, the goal is to keep our children safe. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Todays parent
These are 2 of the best toddler leashes that parents are loving:
Skip Hop Toddler Backpack Leash – cute zoo animal backpack with tether. Once your child has outgrown the leash you can use it as a standalone backpack
Safety Wrist Link for Toddlers – this is less of a harness and more of a wrsitband that helps you stay connected with your child. Its particularly helpful in crowded places like malls, airports and amusement parks
6. Use a tricycle with handle
Many toddler parents wish they could go for leisurely strolls around the neighborhood with their toddler. But their toddler won’t hold hands and keeps running on the road which makes them feel this is an impossible feat.
A great way to deal with this is to use a tricycle with handles. This way your toddler can practice their peddling skills and you can get a peaceful walk in the evening. Once your child is older you can remove the steering handle and can use it like a regular tricycle.
This is an especially good option on days you want to go for a quick grocery trip and aren’t in the mood to get into a “hold my hand or go in the stroller” battle.
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Are you looking for ways to keep your little one busy and out of trouble? Why not use a busy book?
A Busy Book (as the name suggests) is designed to keep your toddler busy. Not just that, but it contains activities that also teach your toddler fundamental skills (like matching, sorting, counting, tracing, phonics activities etc) that lay the foundation for future learning.
The Sweet n Sour Busy Book is an insanely cute Toddler Busy Book (if we do say so ourselves!). Featuring bright and unique illustrations, each page has been crafted to perfection.
Designed to keep toddlers busy, engaged, learning and out of trouble, this little printable bundle is a life saver for toddler parents. Take it along during travel, in the car, at the restaurant or anywhere you’d prefer to replace screen time with something that actually benefits your child.
Check out the Sweet n Sour Busy Book (we promise you won’t be disappointed!).
FAQS
How do I teach my toddler to hold his hand while walking?
Hand holding is a skill that your toddler needs to practice with you many times before he’s mastered it. One of the most effective ways is to make hand-holding into a game – toddlers love any activity that involves fun!
Do toddlers like to hold hands?
Some toddlers love holding hands, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. Holding a caregiver’s hand becomes a source of security and reassurance for them. There are some toddlers, however, who will do everything they can to squirm out of hand holding!
How do I get my 2 year old to hold his hand?
Encouraging your 2-year-old to hold your hand can be done through positive reinforcement and consistent practice. Offer praise when they hold your hand willingly, make hand-holding a fun activity, and gently redirect them back to holding hands if they resist. Additionally, explaining the importance of holding hands for safety can help them understand why it’s necessary.
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