Toddler hates getting hair brushed. How do you handle the situation without losing your marbles?
Hair brushing battles with toddlers are a common occurrence in many households. This is especially the case with toddler girls. It starts off with the reluctance to let you come anywhere near them with a brush, followed by yelps and shrieks when the brush makes the slightest contact.
“You’re making it too tight!” or “Why are the ponytails not matching?” or “Ow you’re hurting my head!” are just some of the wonderful things your child might be shrieking at you.
Maybe you’re at your wits end and battling this on a daily basis. Or maybe you’ve given up and have accepted the idea that your child’s head will look like a birds nest until she becomes a teenager.
Either way, you should know you’re not in this alone.
Many parents have spent the better part of the morning crying into their coffee cups after fighting a hair brushing battle they were destined to lose.
4 Reasons Why a Toddler Hates Getting Hair Brushed
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Let’s dive right into your toddlers tiny little brain and see what’s actually going on.
Here are the 4 main reasons your toddler hates getting her hair brushed:
Reason # 1: It’s actually hurting her
- The brush bristles might be too hard
- You might be using too much pressure
- Her hair has tangles and when the brush gets stuck in them it pulls at her scalp
- You’re running the brush over her ears
Reason # 2: It becomes into a power struggle
Toddlers want to assert their independence. They need to feel like they are the ones in control. They want to show the world that they can do things themselves (even if they can’t).
When you try to brush their hair, they feel a loss of power. They have to relinquish control and they don’t like it one bit.
Reason # 3: Toddlers find it hard to stay still
Letting someone brush your hair means you need to hold still for a while. This is quite difficult for your toddler who would much rather be hopping, jumping or running about.
How utterly boring it is to stand still while someone makes your hair, thinks your toddler to himself.
It also means he can’t be doing all the other fun stuff he’d much spend his time on. The fact that it takes literally 2 MINUTES to run a comb through his hair is not a truth he would like to embrace.
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Reason # 4: To get under your skin
Your toddlers resistance and shrieks might be causing you to quickly lose your cool.
Maybe you’re clenching your teeth, arguing with them back and forth or chasing after them with a brush in hand like a raving lunatic. Your toddler thinks it’s absolutely hilarious.
The more animated your reaction, the more motivated they are to act out and make hair brushing into a daily battle.
5 Epic strategies for when a toddler hates getting hair brushed
Now that you understand the main reasons for why your toddler hates getting hair brushed, it’s time to address those problems.
1. Brush hair such that it doesn’t hurt
As adults we are used to brushing our own hair. We often forget that our child’s skin is more sensitive to touch.
So its important to brush with a gentle hand and soft strokes. You should also cover their ears with one hand as many children get bothered by the hairbrush rubbing against their ears.
Many times it’s the bristles on the hairbrush that are harshly digging into your child’s scalp. For that you need to buy a brush that glides through rather than yanking the hair out.
This one is a favorite with parents who have shrieky hairbrush hating kids. Its designed to work for all hair types, gently glides through the hair, separates knots without pulling or breaking hair and works great on both dry and wet hair. Sounds too good to be true? Read the reviews.
2. Implement untangling methods
I’ve found that one of the most common culprits in the hair brushing battles I face with my toddler are her tangles.
Untangling techniques I can offer you after years of trial and error with a screechy toddler include:
1. Always brushing your child’s hair BEFORE a bath, not after (unless you’re using a wet brush)
2. Using a kids shampoo free from any harmful chemicals. These chemicals not only cause tangles but also severely damage your child’s hair in the long run
3. Gently rubbing shampoo on to the roots of your child’s head rather than taking it to the ends. Also, refrain from piling her hair on top of her head in a big soapy mess
4. Using a gentle conditioner on the ends of her hair. Leave the conditioner in her hair for the duration of the bath and wash it off right before she gets out.
Pro tip: post bath time, take a tiny amount of coconut oil, rub it into your palms and run your hands over the ends of your child’s hair. This will ensure the hair stays tangle free
5. Regularly oiling your child’s hair with coconut oil. Coconut oil is something I can SWEAR by. It not only helps keep tangles away but also deeply nourishes hair, making it wonderfully soft and soooooo shiny (added benefits: you can also use coconut oil to moisturize your skin, remove makeup and whiten your teeth!)
6. Brushing every morning and before going to bed. This is a crucial step and can save you a ton of time and frustration. Ideally, keep your child’s hair in braids when she sleeps. This strategy not only keeps tangles away but also promotes hair growth
7. Cutting hair short. The shorter your child’s hair, the fewer chances there are of tangles. If you’d rather not give up your toddlers beautiful locks, opt for regular trims. These can do wonders in getting rid of unwanted split ends and tangles.
8. Using untangling spray. If you’ve tried all the above and none of the natural methods seem to be working, this would be your go to solution. Opt for a spray that’s natural, free from harmful chemicals and appropriate for your child’s hair type. Spritz away and enjoy a tears free post bath combing experience. This one’s a great option, made from natural ingredients like shea butter, coconut oil and honey.
3. Relinquish control
Make your toddler feel like they are the ones making all the decisions when it comes to getting their hair brushed.
Let them choose which color hairbrush they like, what hair accessories they want in their hair and in what style.
“Should we try out a French braid today or pigtails?”
“Do you want to wear a hairband or ponytails?”
“Should we use the purple comb or the green brush?”
Letting them make these simple decisions allows them to feel like they have control. Always remember : there’s nothing that a toddler loves more than control.
4. Add the oomph factor
Simply put, make hair brushing fun for your little tot. Some ideas include:
– taking turns brushing each other’s hair
– pretending your child is at the hairdresser and you’re her stylist for the day.
– giving her a miniature comb to brush her dolls hair while you make hers.
– taking her shopping to pick out some pretty hair accessories
5. Tame your reaction
With toddlers, there’s a simple rule of thumb: if you don’t want to see a certain kind of behavior from them, then keep your reaction as unanimated as possible.
This means that when they are hiding from you while you try to brush or are yelping in a dramatic fashion, act casual.
Stop brushing, shrug your shoulders, walk away and pretend like you couldn’t care less what their hair looks like. When they see that you no longer want to brush their hair, they will come running to you asking you to please make their hair.
Wrapping up
So there you go. 5 tips that have really helped me in reducing the screaming episodes from a screechy toddler who hates hair brushing.
I hope these strategies help you as much as they have helped me. If not, it’s best to make peace with the fact that your child’s hair will look like a birds (or rat’s) nest for the foreseeable future.
Read these posts next:
Toddler Wont Let Me Tie Up Her Hair – 7 Ingenious Hacks To Try
10 Super Easy Toddler Hairstyles for Girls With Short, Medium and Fine Hair
12 Easy Toddler Activities to Keep your Toddler Out of Trouble | No Prep Indoor Activities
6 Brilliant Hacks to Stop Your Toddler Kicking Off the Blanket
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