The 12 causes of toddler tantrums that will have you nodding your head in agreement.
I’m sitting with my 2 year old at an ice cream parlor. We’re sharing a chocolate ice cream sundae with strawberries and whipped cream, thoroughly enjoying ourselves.
All of a sudden, one strawberry falls off the top of the sundae and down into the bowl. My toddler’s lip begins to quiver. And then there it is. The tantrum that was just waiting to happen.
As parents we all know the dreaded T word. And we’re constantly trying to get to the bottom of WHY our toddlers throw tantrums.
That’s because we’ve deluded ourselves into thinking if we could just know the LOGICAL CAUSE for the tantrum we could prevent it from happening and life could be wonderful and sane again.
Here’s the truth though:
1. More often than not, tantrums don’t have a logical cause
2. By the time you’ve figured out the cause for one tantrum (and come up with a solution for it) your little one has already moved on to his second, third and fourth tantrum of the day.
So rather than fret over what is simply destined to happen, it’s best to enjoy a good laugh over the inevitability of tantrums in your (daily) life.
Here are 12 hilarious causes of toddler tantrums to help you understand why your little one is flipping out on you all day long.
The 12 Causes of Toddler Tantrums
#1 You’re doing it all wrong mom
Before I had kids, I didn’t know that there was a wrong way to cut up a sandwich. Or that handing someone the wrong colored glass could cause such an outpour of emotions.
Well now I know.
Your strong willed child will have an opinion (the strongest of opinions) about virtually everything. And how it must be done. And if they think you’ve done it wrong? Well tantrums it is.
#2 The presence of a sibling
So there’s the regular sibling issues. Like fighting over the same toy or one kid pushing the other. The kind of issues that have tangible solutions.
Then there are toddler issues with their siblings that can leave you scratching your head for days.
A sibling sitting in the same room as them, minding their own business can trigger a meltdown. A sibling sitting in the same car as them (again, minding their own business) can offset toddlers.
To summarize, the mere presence of a sibling anywhere near a toddler’s vicinity can quickly become a cause for a tantrum.
#3 I want to do it myself
This tantrum manifests itself when your toddler decides he can do something himself. It’s almost always something that he CAN’T do himself.
For some reason it seems to happen when you want to leave the house. Or you’re in a big rush and need to get something done quickly. That’s precisely when your toddler decides it’s the right time to assert his independence.
It usually pertains to requests like wanting to pour their own milk/juice, opening something themselves, tying shoes, zipping and buttoning up things.
The request is followed by 5 minutes of unsuccessfully trying to accomplish task… followed by a major meltdown over not being able to get desired results.
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#4 The grocery shopping one
What is it with toddlers and grocery shopping? Is there some unsaid toddler code of conduct that mandates toddlers to throw themselves in the grocery store aisle every single trip?
Maybe it’s the shelves of goodies they can’t take home? No one quite knows.
What we do know is that the classic grocery shopping tantrum is one of the causes of toddler tantrums that almost all parents will experience at least a few times in their life.
#5 The elevator one
“I wanted to press it!” shrieks my toddler.
I freeze on the spot. I’ve done it again. I by mistakenly stepped into the elevator with my child and pressed the button. The button that only she reserved the right to press.
And now the next two hours at the mall will be spent trying to pacify a meltdown that I feel I could’ve easily avoided.
Note: In the post Covid world this tantrum is even harder to deal with. For obvious reasons of course.
#6 I changed my mind
I know I asked for an apple, mom. But while you were scrambling around cutting it, I changed my mind. I don’t want an apple now , I want an orange.
Oh and while I wait for my cut up oranges, I’ll just throw a tantrum in the meantime *insert evil toddler laughter*
#7 Anything related to grooming
There are a few things you have to do on a daily basis in order to ensure that your toddler is meeting basic hygiene levels. This includes: taking a bath, brushing teeth and brushing hair.
The wonderful news is that your toddler probably hates all 3 activities. The result? A healthy dose of tantrums.
All. Day. Long.
#8 I want it NOW
To be fair to toddlers, this is a character trait that can be observed in children of almost all age groups. My older one is almost 6 and well out of the toddler years and still exhibits symptoms of this.
The minute a request has left their mouth “I want xyz”, it’s quickly followed by whining and a quick escalation into a meltdown.
WHY HAS MY REQUEST NOT BEEN MET?
Toddlers and patience don’t jive well together.
#9 The trying to leave the house one
People without kids decide to leave the house. They wear their shoes, grab their keys and head out the door.
Parents with kids decide to leave the house?
God have mercy.
You need to pee before you leave.
It’s cold, you can’t wear shorts.
No we can’t take along your giant unicorn stuffy.
Stop whining.
Yes, she’ll be fine at home all alone.
Wear your shoes. Yes with socks.
No we can’t watch this right now, it’s time to leave.
Brush your hair.
Yes i know it’s tangled. Maybe if you brushed everyday they wouldn’t be like this?
No crying. Have you peed?
#10 Over tired – but I don’t want to sleep
This one seems simple enough. A tantrum-ing over tired child just needs some sleep and then all will be well. Right?
If you’re a toddler parent you already know why that’s so hilarious. The one thing that will aggravate your already fuming toddler even more is anyone hinting to them that they need sleep.
#11 Why won’t you let me kill myself?
Every day a toddler wakes up wondering to himself: hmm, what life endangering activities can I engage in today?
And so he’ll drag a chair to the kitchen counter, grab a knife and start swishing it about. When you take the knife away? Tantrum.
He will jump on the sofa and try to head dive into the glass coffee table. Take him off the sofa? Tantrum.
She will try to run across a busy road and when you try to hold her hand? Tantrum.
#12 Why won’t you let me do gross/destructive things?
This is quite similar to the one above. Except instead of trying to kill themselves, toddlers would like to engage in gross/destructive behavior and become enraged if you try to stop them.
Sticking their hands in the toilet seat and playing with the water inside, drawing on the walls and ripping up storybooks are popular toddler hobbies.
And if you try to stop them? Yup tantrums it is.
Lesson learnt? The next time your toddler is flipping out on you, take a deep breath, smile and remember….only 11 more tantrums left for the day!
On a more serious note….
Are you a mom that has to yell to get her kids to get anything done? Do you find yourself struggling with parenting and overcome with feelings of exhaustion and frustration? Are you dealing with tantrums, bedtime battles, whining and tons of mom guilt?
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Are you a toddler parent? Here are some other posts you may enjoy:
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12 Easy Toddler Activities to Keep your Toddler Out of Trouble | No Prep Indoor Activities
6 Fascinating Reasons Why Toddlers Draw on Walls (And How You Can Stop Them)
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