Potty training mistakes I wish every parent knew about before taking the plunge.
As a parent of a toddler, potty training will be one of the most significant (and messy!) milestone changes you will face. Potty training can be a stressful and trying time, even for the most composed and mellow parents.
However it doesn’t need to be that way. Being prepared, having a plan and knowing what to do and what to avoid will help you so much in making this a smooth process for both yourself and your child.
Today I’d like to share with you 10 of the top parent-reported potty training mistakes that new parents should know about and definitely steer clear of.
This post is about the potty training mistakes new parents fall into.
10 Biggest Potty Training Mistakes You Need to Know About
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1. Not Doing Proper Research
One of the absolute biggest potty training mistakes you can make is not doing proper research before you start. Would you start running for the marathon without training? Would you take on a massive project without having a clear plan?
Potty training is SO much easier as a parent when you know what you’re doing.
I armed myself with knowledge and had a clear plan when i started potty training my toddler in 3 days– and it really helped me retain my sanity and keep perfectly calm throughout the process.
So, what do i mean by doing research? How exactly should you prepare and how do you begin forming a plan? Here are some areas you need to get clear on:
- Determining if your child is ready to start training
- Making sure its a good time to start
- Which poty training method will you go for
- What gear you need to collect BEFORE starting
- How to start mentally preparing your child for training even before it’s begun
- How to get your child excited to begin training
- What you’ll use to motivate/reward your child
There are plenty of ways you can learn more about potty training and figuring out which approach is best for you. These include reading content on parenting websites, scouring through mom blog posts about potty training, talking to fellow parents or even investing in a potty training book.
2. Having Unrealistic Expectations
Even with proper research, not everything will go as planned when it comes to potty training.
Potty training cannot be rushed. Let me say that again: do NOT rush it.
If your child is potty trained in 3 days, wonderful! Celebrate and have a party. If your child is taking much longer – that’s perfectly alright too! Each child will master this skill at their own pace. So don’t put unrealistic expectations on your child or yourself.
Your child’s potty training experience will be more meaningful and less stressful when you are more realistic with the process. Kids are varied learners. Some kids will master potty training within a few days, some within a few weeks while others may take longer, typically until they begin kindergarten.
More often than not, young children don’t work well under deadlines and they don’t have the same concept of time as adults do. Be realistic with your potty training expectations. Or, better yet, throw them out the window altogether
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3. Not Choosing the Appropriate Time
Many parents start training their kids at the wrong time and then wonder why everything is going so horribly wrong.
So what exactly is the right time to start training?
Firstly, you need to start when your child is ready. If you start training them too early, they may not be able to understand what is going on. But if you start too late, they may get too used to being in the diaper and find it difficult to make the transition.
So what’s the ideal age to start potty training? Experts agree that most kids are ready to train anywhere between 18-36 months. However every child is different and develops at their own pace. A good way to tell if your child is ready is to look for signs of potty training readiness. Some of these signs include:
- ability to walk to the toilet and sit on it
- being able to pull their pants up and down
- telling you when they have a dirty diaper
- showing an interest in the toilet
- ability to communicate with you when they have to go
- ability to understand/follow basic instructions
- taking their wet diaper off themselves because they feel uncomfortable
- having bowel movements at regular times
- having a dry diaper for about 2 hours in the day time
Secondly, YOU need to be mentally prepared too. This is very important and should not be overlooked. There may be a time when your child is showing all the signs of being ready to train but you might be experiencing some personal upheavals in your life. Don’t start starining until things have settled down and you feel mentally ready.
Thirdly, avoid starting potty training during life-changing events like when you have visitors staying over, during vacations, death in the family, or during other similar significant periods. Wait until the storm settles and life returns to the usual cycle to begin the training. This doesn’t only create a comfortable routine for your child. It also fosters more security for them and creates an overall positive learning environment.
4. Being a Stressed Out Pushy Nag
This cannot be said enough times. Do not be pushy or keep nagging your child when it comes to potty training. This is going to create a super stressful environment and trust me, your child will push back and start doing the exact opposite of what you want them to do.
Let’s go over some of the most common scenarios:
- Instead of constantly reminding/nagging your child to go sit on the potty, get them a potty watch with a timer. This way, the timer will tell them when it’s time to go, not you!
- Do not ever punish/shame your child for having an accident. This will create a negatively charged environment and your child may even start hiding their accidents from you. Reacting negatively to your child’s accidents during the potty training period can cause long term damage.
- Remember a rule of thumb: the more stressed you are, the more that stress is going to trickle down to your child and cause them to regress. You need to actively work on remaining as calm and serene as humanly possible
When toilet training doesn’t work right away, stress can get in the way of ultimate success. One of the best potty training tips is simply to chill.
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10 Worst Potty Training Mistakes You Need to Know About
5. Not Choosing the Right Clothing
The potty training process is both internal and external. So, in addition to positively reinforcing your child, you have to have the right environment to promote this change. One of the first changes you need to make is to choose clothing that is easy to manage.
Dress your child in clothes that are easier for their little hands to navigate. Avoid complicated straps, multiple buttons, snaggy zippers, and one-piece clothing (like bodysuits).
Alternatively, use simple clothing like dresses with no zippers or buttons and elastic waist bottoms.
The reason is that kids still haven’t developed much bladder control; you want them to be wearing clothes which can allow them easy access to quickly hopping on the toilet seat. This will help reduce the number of accidents that they have.
What your child wears during potty training has a lot to do with how comfortable and confident she will feel practicing using the toilet, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). General rules are to keep your child in loose, easy-to-remove clothing, and allow plenty of time to practice dressing and undressing before using the potty chair.
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Tip: To make the process easier for your child, if possible, you may want to introduce potty training during the warmer seasons if you live in a cold climate.
6. Not Getting Your Child Excited About Training
Do you want potty training to be smooth, easy and unstressful? The absolute best thing you can do is get your little tot super excited for training even BEFORE you’ve begun and then also during training.
Trust me, this is the most effective thing you can do to help make this whole process a breeze.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Read potty training books with your child to help understand how it all works.
2. Do potty training activities with your toddler! These activities teach toddlers about potty training in a way that is fun, engaging and super hands on.Toddlers trace, color, match, sort, giggle and laugh as they learn about potty training the FUN way.
No nagging and no pressure.
This has tremendous benefits in increasing your child’s motivation to train and actually get excited about it. Check out the potty training activity book to see what all the hype is about!
3. Get your child a potty training doll. These are great for explaining potty training to your child and also helping them get super excited about training. Here are the ones parents and kids alike are loving: Melissa & Doug Drink and Wet Poseable Baby Doll and Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood Potty Time Toy
7. Using Pull Ups
So many well intentioned parents make this huge blunder when they start potty training so I had to include this in the list of the worst potty training mistakes.
Pull ups are marketed towards stressed out, confused parents as a potty training essential. But they end up actually doing the opposite and hindering a child’s progress during training.
The reason is that pull ups are made of the same material as diapers; they are super absorbent. So yes, they will stop pee from splattering onto the floor when your child has an accident. BUT because they are absorbent, your child won’t feel the sensation of having wet himself and having had an accident. So he’ll continue peeing in the training pants which feel all comfy and absorbent.
Many professionals recommend skipping pull-ups for daytime potty training. Instead, go straight to underwear so your baby understands how it feels when they pee. Pull-ups have similar absorbency to diapers, so it may confuse your child to have pull-ups on during potty training
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Tip: you can continue using pull ups at night time if you haven’t yet started night time training.
So what should you be using if not pull ups? Most parents opt for cotton underwear which are easy to pull up and down. These allow your child to get wet and realize they have had an accident. Some parents even opt to let their child roam around bare bottomed during the first few days of training, especially when using the 3 day potty training method.
A third option is to go for training pants (these ones are best sellers on Amazon featuring cute designs). These are somewhere in the middle of cotton underwear and pull ups. They have a cotton like texture to replicate regular undies and usually have an elastic waist band; but they also have an extra absorbent layer to help catch leaks during training days.
8. Not Being Prepared to Handle Accidents
The secret to success during potty training is to stay calm. And that will only happen if you accept that accidents will happen. Because accidents WILL happen.
I found that the best way for me to handle accidents and also manage to stay calm was chanting positive affirmations in my head.
“There will be accidents. I will not flip out, I will be calm”
I remember chanting this again and again especially during the first 3 days while training my toddler. The thing with affirmations is that it really helps to be able to visually see it in front of you.
Check out these beautifully designed affirmations you can print and hang up to help you keep your cool while training your little one.
Another key strategy to stay calm in the face of having your whole house become a toilet is to be armed. Arm yourself with the cleaning supplies you need to have on hand to quickly and effortlessly clean up messes.
Some basic cleaning supplies you definitey need are a disinfectant spray, cleaning cloth just for cleaning up accidents and disinfecting wipes.
Tip: try to keep carpets/rugs folded away during training since it’s much harder to clean up messes from those. If they cant be folded then cover them with a waterproof sheet so that it’s easier to clean up accidents.
9. Not Having the Right Supplies on Hand
As I mentioned earlier, being prepared is everything when it comes to potty training. Not having the right supplies on hand will lead to tons of confusion, messes and last minute rushed trips to the store.
There are 5 basic things you must have on hand BEFORE you start training. You can find these easily and affordably on Amazon:
- A potty chair OR a potty insert. You can go for a realistic looking toddler sized potty chair (which helps get kids excited) OR opt for a potty seat insert which fits on top of the regular toilet
- A single or double step stool (I’ve used the Dream Baby Single Step Stool and the Dream Baby Double Step Stool for both my kids and really like that they have a non-slip base and are sturdy)
- Lots of cotton underwear
- Tools to motivate your child to train
- Cleaning supplies
10. Not Being There For Your Child As They Learn To Embrace the Change
It’s human nature to experience fear when going through changes in life. So remember that you’re not the only one going through a rough transition period. Your child may be feeling it too even if he can’t express it in words. While not every child goes through this, some kids can develop fear during the potty training process.
In fact, kids can be scared of things you may consider irrational as an adult. Your child may be scared of small spaces (typical of toilets), the loud flushing sound or poop disappearing into the toilet bowl.
Sometimes, your child may simply be scared of the transition they are making from a more dependent diaper-wearing baby to a slightly more independent child. The point is not for you to dissect why they fear these things but rather, to be there for them and make the process as smooth as possible. Talk to your child and be sensitive to their fears.
Conclusion
Ultimately, nobody has ever ventured into the realm of potty training knowing everything. Each day is a learning process.
However it really helps knowing about the common potty training mistakes that well-intentioned parents usually fall into. You can save yourself time, hassle and stress by not making these mistakes and eventually this will really help make the process much easier and less stressful for yourself and your little one.
Ready to take the stress out of potty training? Interested in getting your toddler excited to train? Check out this potty training value pack that will transform your potty training journey from stressful to fun!
This post was about the potty training mistakes new parents fall into
Have you made any potty training mistakes lately? Let us know in the comments section.
Read these next:
15 Steps to Potty Train a Stubborn Toddler Girl in 3 Days
Potty Training Essentials You Absolutely Can’t Do Without
20 Genius Potty Training Reward Ideas (that seriously work!)
Emma Alsab says
Some really good useful tips here, doing potty training is not easy, and it can be very tiresome and wearing at times.
By the way, my little girl is 3 years old, and doing potty training right now, and we have started with big girl undies now, and it`s going quite well, only thing is that they do get kinda stuck against her skin sometimes, when they are pulled down, like you are pulling the sides down, but the middle part won`t come, so sometimes her undies need a couple of pulls to come off.
Is this something you also heard about perhaps, or have any experience of ?
Is it just perhaps so that it`s harder to pull down girl undies than boys undies ?
Take care 🙂
Fatima says
Hi Emma, I’m glad you found these tips helpful. The problem you’re describing could very well have to do with sizing issues; try getting her bigger sized undies so that they don’t stick to her skin tightly. Also, opt for ones that are 100% cotton and ones with an elastic waist band, making them easier to pull up and down. I hope that helps, good luck with the training 🙂