10 Practical Hacks to Handle Toddler Bedtime Stalling

Dealing with toddler bedtime stalling? Tired of the bedtime tantrums? Read these 10 hacks for ideas to handle these bedtime delay tactics like a pro.

It’s almost time to put your toddler to sleep. And you can’t help but feel exhausted at the idea of getting started for bedtime. Because you know that ahead of you lies a series of battles and tantrums of epic proportions.

These include (but are not limited to!): not wanting to brush their teeth, taking ages to put on jammies, finding monsters under the bed, popping out of bed all night long and the list goes on and on…

As a mom to a cheeky little toddler who hates sleeping, I emphasize with you wholeheartedly. Based on everything I have studied and learnt about toddler bedtime resistance, I’d like to share some tips with you that have helped me immensely.

These hacks have not only helped me cut back drastically on bedtime stalling but also in getting my toddler to sleep through the night (yes you read that right!)

So let’s get right into it. Why do our toddlers delay sleep and what can we as parents do about it?

This post is about toddler bedtime stalling & how you can handle it with your sanity intact

Why do toddlers stall at bedtime?

Toddlers stall at bedtime for a variety of reasons. These include fear of missing out on fun happenings going on around the house, separation anxiety, being overstimulated or not feeling tired enough to want to go to bed.

Let’s go over each of these reasons in greater detail.

1. Fear of missing out on fun stuff

The most common reason toddlers delay bedtime is FOMO ie fear of missing out. They don’t want to miss out on anything fun that may be happening around the house.

Going to bed is boring. It’s dark and nothing exciting is going on. But staying up? Now that’s fun. So it’s no wonder that our kids don’t want to sleep.

2. Not tired

Another reason for the stalling is that your toddler is not really tired. He hasn’t engaged in enough physical activities during the day to actually feel ready to hit the bed.

3. Too overstimulated

Your toddler may be too overstimulated by the time bedtime rolls around. This is resulting in him wanting to delay bedtime by as long as possible.

4. Separation Anxiety

Another reason for wanting to delay bedtime for as long as possible could be that your little one is dealing with separation anxiety. She might be dragging the bedtime routine because she’s scared you won’t be there with her all night.

Popular Toddler Bedtime Delay Tactics

Toddler bedtime stalling can come in a variety of shapes and forms. It might involve elongating a process that they know has to done every day such as brushing teeth. Or it may be a call for “one last….”

Here are the popular bedtime delay tactics parents face daily:

1. “I need to go to the bathroom” (for the the third time in the last half an hour!)

2. ” Can I get one last drink of water”

3. One last hug (you’ve already given 15 hugs!)

4. Spending ages deciding what jammies to put on

5. Spending ages deciding which stuffy to take to bed

6. Delaying brushing teeth

7. “There’s a monster under my bed”

Now that you know WHY your toddler uses bedtime stalling tactics, it’s time to discuss WHAT you can do about it.

Here are 10 helpful, gentle and practical techniques to handle toddler bedtime stalling like a pro.

10 Practical Hacks to Handle Toddler Bedtime Stalling

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1. Create the right sleep ambiance

The first thing you want to do is to make sure that you create an ambiance in the house that’s conducive to sleep.

This means prepping your house for bedtime an hour prior to bedtime. The lights should be dim and soft, the TV and electronic gadgets should be shut and the overall ambiance should be that of calmness.

This in turn will help your toddler’s body and mind wind down for the day and be more ready for bedtime when it comes.

Similarly, your child’s room should also be an oasis of calm and NOT chaos.

Toys should be put away and cleared. A soft night light can be a great way to create a relaxing and calm atmosphere. A humidifier is a life saver tool as it will ensure your toddler’s nasal passageway stays clear (this is the cool mist humidifier we use and love!).

In the summer months, blackout curtains/blinds are literally a must have (check out these portable bestselling blinds on Amazon!) so your child’s body can signal to the brain that it’s dark and it’s time to sleep.

I’ve written a more detailed post on this topic that you can read here: 9 Incredible Products That Actually Help Promote Toddler and Baby Sleep

Bonus Tip:

A great sleep hack that has really helped improve my toddler’s overall sleep health has been switching from a regular old mattress to an organic mattress that is chemical free and completely free of flame retardant chemicals.

I did not realize how important this switch was until I started reading all about the horrible side effects of making kids sleep on mattresses filled with chemicals (news: most mattresses are filled with these chemicals and have a range of terrible effects on a child’s long term health!).

Kids easily spend 8-12 hours a day sleeping and playing on or near their mattress. Because the mattress is in such close proximity to the child for long periods of time, it can easily become a huge source of chemical exposure. 

This realization started my search for chemical free mattresses and I came to know of Naturepedic.

Naturepedic mattresses for kids (along with their whole collection of kids organic bedsheets, pillows and protector pads) are chemical free, completely eliminate the use of flame retardant chemicals and are a leading brand dedicated to making safe, non-toxic sleep products for the whole fam.

You can check out more about Naturepedic here and why it’s a go to brand for every parent looking for safer sleep solutions.

2. Avoid action packed or screen activities before bedtime

Similar to the point above, try to avoid activities 1 hour before bedtime that will overestimate your toddler. This means avoid playing games with them that get them too jumpy and excited or letting them watch the screen. Instead, opt for more calming activities like a warm bath, story books and cuddles.

Screen time before bedtime doesn’t only keep your child up late at night and make it harder for them to fall asleep, it also heightens your child’s risk of developing insomnia, a sleep condition in which sleep disturbances are experienced over a prolonged period of time, often lasting more than a month.

activehealth.sg

3. Have a consistent bedtime routine

You’ve probably heard this a hundred times but I will still say it again. Have a consistent bedtime routine. The emphasis needs to be on the word consistent.

In addition to improving sleep, bedtime routines teach your child self-care and lay the ground for working memory, attention, and other  cognitive skills. They also foster parent-child bonding and may help improve mood, stress levels, and behavior.

sleepfoundation.org

Try to stick to the same routine every day. So at roughly the same time every day, do the 3-4 activities that are part of your bedtime routine. Do them in the same order every single day. This helps your toddler immensely. They know exactly what is coming next; there are no surprises and hence less resistance.

4. Avoid an elaborate bedtime routine

Many parents get carried away with the bedtime routine. They try to stuff in so many activities as part of the routine that instead of being a calming experience it ends up turning into a nightmare!

The more you elongate the bedtime routine, the more opportunities you give your little one to keep delaying bedtime. The rule of thumb: keep bedtime routine simple.

I faced this very same problem and took measures to simplify the bedtime routine. You can read my more detailed post on that here called: 7 Genius Hacks to Try When Toddler’s Bedtime Routine Takes Too Long

5. Get your toddler tired

One major reason your toddler is delaying sleep is because he isn’t tired in the first place. For that, you need to asses a couple of things.

Firstly, is your toddler getting enough physical activity during the day? Experts recommend toddlers get approximately 1-2 hours of outdoor play every day. If the weather doesn’t permit going outside, take measures to ensure your toddler is still active indoors and NOT plopped in front of the screen all day.

Some indoor toys that can help your toddler get plenty of exercise and help tire them out include:

• Little Tikes 3′ Trampoline
• Little Tikes T-Ball Set
• Playskool Sit ‘n Spin Classic Spinning Activity Toy for Toddlers

The second thing to consider is your toddler’s day time naps. Is he overnapping during the day? That could be another major reason contributing towards your toddler not feeling sleepy by bedtime. Re asses the time your child is napping and if it’s long then try cutting it shorter.

Oh and by the way, if your toddler wakes up from naps super cranky then you might find this post very helpful!

6. Bedtime routine charts are your best friend

So you’ve got the bedtime routine going. You’ve done everything you can do to create an ideal sleepy environment. Your child is getting plenty of exercise. But your toddler’s bedtime delay tactics continue. Why?

You may be dealing with a discipline issue where you need to set some clear boundaries with your toddler.

That’s where bedtime routine charts come in.

They provide your toddler with a visual cue of everything they have to do to get ready for bed. This prevents them from stalling because they’re excited to complete their chart.

Bedtime routine charts work wonderfully for this age group because not only do they help your child know what tasks to do to get ready for bed, they also help motivate them to get through the tasks with enthusiasm instead of resistance.

Check out these adorable bedtime routine charts with pictures that kids put in the “done” section after finishing a task!

7. Ceate a when-then sequence

This is a technique I learnt from parenting coach Amy McCready when I took her parenting program Positive Parenting Solutions (psst…she has a free class that’s full of really helpful parenting hacks that you can check out here)

I’ve tried it and it’s simple but super effective. Here’s how it goes: you tell your toddler when they do X, then they get Y.

So X would be all the stuff on their routine chart like wearing pjs, brushing teeth, wearing their pull ups etc. Once they do all that, they’ll get the fun stuff Y which might be story books and bedtime songs. This way the onus is on them, if they want Y they gotta do X. It’s really effective, try this tactic tonight!

8. Address all toddler bedtime stalling issues before they are raised

So what I mean by this point is, make a list in your head of the 3 most frequently used delay tactics your toddler uses. Next, make sure that before they get to bed, you’ve already addressed those issues with them.

For example, if water is their reason to get out of bed then make sure that before they get into bed, they’ve had their drink of water. And also keep a sippy cup with a bit of water in it next to their bed so they can drink from when they get thirsty.

Similarly, if it’s monsters under the bed, then make sure to check under their bed before bedtime. “Looks like there’s no monster here!”

This way when they raise those issues, you can calmly let them know that you’ve already done whatever it is they are asking you to do.

9. Implementing boundaries calmly

So you’ve done everything on the list uptil this point. And your toddler has made it into bed. Yay!

But now the problem is: they keep popping out of bed! This is the part where most of us start to lose our calm. We’re exhausted from the day and pretty much at our wits end.

One last game? Seriously?

The key here is to be calm and yet firm in a boring, non-confrontational way.

I’ll say that again.

Calm, firm, boring and non-confrontational.

So when your toddler pops out of bed for the second, third and fourth time, remind them gently and yet firmly in a matter of fact way that it’s bed time and everyone needs to sleep. Lead them back to their bed and say goodnight with a yawn.

It’s exhausting in the beginning but if you stay calm and consistent your toddler will quickly learn that:

a) nothing exciting is happening (mom sounds so bored)

b) they won’t be allowed to stay up (she’s being so persistent!)

10. Be mentally prepared to handle delays

It’s super important to be mentally prepared to handle delays. You are after all, dealing with a tiny little human and it’s only natural that everything will not run exactly on schedule. So remember to be a little flexible in terms of when your toddler gets into bed. This provides some wriggle room and takes the stress out of getting your child to bed at an exact time.

And there you have it! 10 tips that you can start using from today. I hope you found them super helpful. Let me know in the comments section if you have any more tips to add to the list.

This post was about toddler bedtime stalling & how you can handle it with your sanity intact

Don’t forget to check out these adorable bedtime routine charts with pictures that kids put in the “done” section after finishing a task!

Other posts you may find helpful:

6 Brilliant Hacks to Stop Your Toddler Kicking Off the Blanket

Toddler Unzipping the Sleep Sack? 7 Genius Tactics To Try

5 Expert Hacks on How to Transition Your Toddler to a Blanket

7 Super Clever Ways to Stop Your Toddler Falling Out of Bed